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Fear not! Eternal Earthbound Pets, U.S.A. has got it covered! Yes, for just $110 this group of animal-lovin' atheists will make sure your pet is well cared for when you leave this earthly plane to meet your maker and take your place at his side.
Here's my favorite line from the FAQ:
And the best part of all? Payment is as easy as one click of the mouse. Just have your credit card ready!
(Oh, and should you lose your faith and therefore not be taken in the rapture, there is no refund. Sorry.)
Here's my favorite line from the FAQ:
Q: When the Rapture occurs, how long before my pet is rescued?
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets' lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets' lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.
And the best part of all? Payment is as easy as one click of the mouse. Just have your credit card ready!
(Oh, and should you lose your faith and therefore not be taken in the rapture, there is no refund. Sorry.)
