I know it's not real, but it still scares me.

[janradder]

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to find a spectral figure hovering over me. I'll blink my eyes and try to wake up fully, and as I do, the figure will recede as if in realizing I'm awake it needs to retreat until I'm asleep again. Sometimes it happens only moments after I fall asleep and I suddenly find myself jarred awake for whatever reason. Sometimes the figure will stay there, hovering for a moment, before it pulls away.

I have no idea why I see these things but it is utterly terrifying when it happens, even when I know whatever I'm seeing will disappear. Afterwards, I have a hard time falling back asleep and I keep opening my eyes again and again to make sure that whatever I saw isn't there anymore. I keep looking at the spot where I saw the phantasm, trying to see if there was some shape or object that my brain turned into the figure, but there's nothing but a blank wall or the closet door or the hallway outside the bedroom, and none of those things is even remotely shaped like what I'd seen.

Last night, I saw one again -- it was like long tendrils of mist or smoke reaching out to me from the dresser. I stared at it, waiting for it to disappear but it didn't, so I reached my hand out to try and swat it away. My hand felt only air, but the tendrils pulled back into nothingness. When it was gone, I couldn't sleep, terrified that something was approaching me from behind. Haddayr came home a few minutes later, and I had to call her upstairs because I was too afraid to be alone. I really don't know what's going on with my brain, but I wish this would stop.

Comments

[joelarnold.livejournal.com]

Geez - that would scare the crap out of me, too! I read something about how sometimes in those moments of falling asleep and/or waking up, your conscious brain isn't quite coordinated with that part of your brain that controls your physical self, and this can result in night terrors, hallucinations, etc. Maybe it has something to do with that? Unless, of course, you recently urinated on an old Indian burial ground??

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Damn, I knew I should've held it until we got to the rest stop.

[dryadjuna.livejournal.com]

Eek!

[dryadjuna.livejournal.com]

My brain does a similar thing, too, when I'm falling asleep. I like to pretend it's dead people who loved me, checking in on me for a bit, but there are like rules that they have to go away if you really notice them. This lets me fall asleep, basking in the pretend knowledge that there's all sorts of wonderful things in the universe.

[janradder.livejournal.com]

It's actually only when I'm already asleep and get woken up suddenly. Of course, once I do wake up, it's hard to get back to sleep again because I keep thinking it'll come back.

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

::shivers::

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[fengi.livejournal.com]

This is a side effect of sleep paralysis. It doesn't help stop the condition to read up on it, but it makes it far less frightening. The condition often produces hypnopompic or hypnagogic illusions and some theories suggest it's the source of alien abduction stories. It is directly linked to legends about a witch, devil or black dog in the corner or sitting on one's chest.

The causes are still speculative, but I've found sleeping on one's side reduces the occurances, perhaps because it can be related to sleep apnia. I do know once I researched it, the ability of the state to produce vivid dreams reduced, but I was still scared of the physical aspect.

[fengi.livejournal.com]

Depending on how often it happens, you might want to check for other signs of apnia - snoring, headaches, allergies. When I started drinking water before turning in and/or taking anti-histimines, it also helped.

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the information. I figured it had something to do with being partway between a waking and dreaming state but it was just guessing. I can totally see how people would think it was something supernatural because it seems so real, even after it's gone (and luckily, I can move -- I can't imagine how frightening it would be to also be paralyzed).

Unfortunately I already sleep on my side but I'll look into seeing if there's anything else I can do.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate this information. I've been googling it all day, really worried (I always leap to BRAIN! TUMOR! ZOMG!), and I found nothing.

Jan does get migraines, but he doesn't have sleep apnea -- unless he is silently stopping breathing. He rarely snores, and when he does it's quite steady and stops when I give him a nudge. Do you know if there's a silent version of sleep apnea?

[southernweirdo.livejournal.com]

I agree with fengi. Sounds like a textbook example of sleep terrors/sleep paralysis. Everyone in my family has them from time to time for some reason. Regular sleep patterns help. Keeping a regular schedule and finding time for stress-reducing activities (like aerobic exercise) during the day seems to help.

What out for supplements. There was a time I was taking over the counter melatonin as a supplement to sleep when I was younger. I had to stop because the sleep terrors became more frequent.

The human mind -- awake or asleep -- is a very complex machine.

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I should start looking into whether there's any sort of pattern to these, like if they happen more often when I'm overtired or when I'm not getting to bed at a decent time or what.

[sarahgoss.livejournal.com]

That sounds so scary! I am sorry you have to deal with that. As someone who has a long history of trouble sleeping and various fears related to it, I especially empathize. I hope you can get to the bottom of it with some of these suggestions in the comments.

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Me too.