What I learned from The Swiss Family Robinson:

[janradder]

1. If you are a God-loving/fearing man, you and your family will wind up shipwrecked on an island that combines animals from at least four of the seven continents (if not more), such as lions, elephants, monkeys, agouti, kangaroos, tigers, bears, panthers, donkeys, parrots, birds of paradise, eagles, boar, pigs, walruses, alligators, crocodiles and boa constrictors large enough to eat a large farm animal.

2. Said island will also contain every necessary plant and mineral needed to recreate all the comforts of European life (like cotton, sugar cane, gourds, fullers clay, porcelain clay, pineapples, cinnamon, vanilla beans, etc.).

3. In spite of the variety of wildlife and all the natural resources, the island shall be completely uninhabited by humans.

4. Even though you already have three domiciles, you should always build at least one or two more. Likewise, though you have plenty of sea-worthy vessels you've built, it's always best to have another. And even if you have no practical use for them, make sure to domesticate as many different types of animals as possible.

5. It is possible to make anything that you've read about even though you've never actually seen how the object is made or have only read a description of what it looked like, and often better than the "savages" who first made the thing you are now building.

6. If you see a beautiful creature you've never seen before, shoot it, even if you've already stockpiled enough food to last the next ten years.

Comments

[unusualmusic.livejournal.com]

*DED*

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

also, if you are a woman, you'd better not be young and attractive and alone or you will be screwed

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Except if you're a God-fearing Englishwoman who's father is a British naval officer. Then you get disguised as a man, survive for three years on your own with nothing but your wits and your sailor's clothes, and then you get rescued by one of the Swiss Family Robinson who adopt you as their daughter for the couple months more it takes for a friend of your Daddy's to find you. Then you get to go home! Of course, the key point is that you are God-fearing. If not, you're obviously no better than the savages or the lazy Italians.