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janradderBut I imagine that it'll have to be a lot more than I've already gotten because I don't see Arie changing any time soon.
This summer, because Arie has had summer school, I've been taking Éiden to his swimming lessons on Monday and Wednesday mornings. I really enjoy watching him in the water, laughing, fooling around, working hard. After, he charges from the locker room and runs to the handicapped door so he can push the button to open it. The women behind desk smile at him, charmed by his exuberance.
Arie is now done with summer school so today I took him with me to Éiden's lesson. Instead of enjoying watching Éiden, I felt tense and sick to my stomach as Arie threw himself repeatedly from the bench onto the pool deck, threatened to drop things in the pool filter, tried to throw Éiden's towel in the pool and attempted to steal the instructor's clipboard.
I am so tired of dealing with his behavior. When I see other families and kids I hate them simply for the fact that they are happy and normal. There is no screaming parent or no parent who is ready to explode. There's nothing being thrown, no hideous maniacal laugh, no threats, no belligerence that springs up out of nowhere without warning. I'm tired of being angry all the time. Of being tense and frustrated and feeling like I'm at my wit's end.
All I can do is tell myself that maybe with this new doctor we can get Arie on some other medication that will help him control himself. Right now, I just want some sort of normalcy in our family life. This is not at all how I imagined being a parent was going to be.
ETA: As frustrating as Arie was, when we got home Éiden told me that he was happy Arie went because then he could see his brother while he was swimming.
This summer, because Arie has had summer school, I've been taking Éiden to his swimming lessons on Monday and Wednesday mornings. I really enjoy watching him in the water, laughing, fooling around, working hard. After, he charges from the locker room and runs to the handicapped door so he can push the button to open it. The women behind desk smile at him, charmed by his exuberance.
Arie is now done with summer school so today I took him with me to Éiden's lesson. Instead of enjoying watching Éiden, I felt tense and sick to my stomach as Arie threw himself repeatedly from the bench onto the pool deck, threatened to drop things in the pool filter, tried to throw Éiden's towel in the pool and attempted to steal the instructor's clipboard.
I am so tired of dealing with his behavior. When I see other families and kids I hate them simply for the fact that they are happy and normal. There is no screaming parent or no parent who is ready to explode. There's nothing being thrown, no hideous maniacal laugh, no threats, no belligerence that springs up out of nowhere without warning. I'm tired of being angry all the time. Of being tense and frustrated and feeling like I'm at my wit's end.
All I can do is tell myself that maybe with this new doctor we can get Arie on some other medication that will help him control himself. Right now, I just want some sort of normalcy in our family life. This is not at all how I imagined being a parent was going to be.
ETA: As frustrating as Arie was, when we got home Éiden told me that he was happy Arie went because then he could see his brother while he was swimming.
