janradder: (axe man)
This Devo Color Survey is all kinds of awesome. Do your duty now for the future and take it.
janradder: (Default)
Yesterday, I played a couple of old Bill Cosby records for Arie and Éiden thinking they would enjoy hearing them, which they did -- immensely. Now, today, they've been parroting back their favorite lines and bits like a couple of proto-Python fans.
janradder: (Default)
1. Everyone in Upstate New York is inbred. Everyone. Especially people from Rochester. Also, people from the Dakotas, but most especially North Dakota. And West Virginia. And all of Scandinavia. with all those fiords.

2. The Roman Empire split into two empires -- the Holy Roman Empire and the Western Roman Empire. Then all that was left of the Roman Empire was the Holy Roman Empire until the Roman Empire dwindled to encompass just a small part of Germany. After that, because the Popes were trying to control everyone through the Holy Roman Empire, Martin Luther started the Reformation. This led to the final downfall of the Roman Empire.

3. That (the Reformation) happened around 1759 when it started the French Revolution. But it didn't really succeed in changing anything.

4. Lucy (the Australopithecus afarensis fossil found in Africa) is not the name given to an actual fossil, but is instead something symbolic. Also, Lucy is 300 million years old. But there's another fossil even older than the symbolic Lucy, and that fossil is the fossil of a neanderthal.

Of course I can't be sure, but I think these guys may have been from Upstate New York. Or maybe they're just Scandinavian.
janradder: (laughing)
Fear not! Eternal Earthbound Pets, U.S.A. has got it covered! Yes, for just $110 this group of animal-lovin' atheists will make sure your pet is well cared for when you leave this earthly plane to meet your maker and take your place at his side.

Here's my favorite line from the FAQ:
Q: When the Rapture occurs, how long before my pet is rescued?
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets' lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.

And the best part of all? Payment is as easy as one click of the mouse. Just have your credit card ready!

(Oh, and should you lose your faith and therefore not be taken in the rapture, there is no refund. Sorry.)
janradder: (Default)

Their favorite line: "Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him."

And no, they have no idea who either Michael J. Fox or Elvis are.
janradder: (Default)
Tonight, over pizza, Arie asked about flirting, so [livejournal.com profile] haddayr demonstrated how women flirt.

"But how do men flirt?" he asked.

"Hmm," said Haddayr. "That's a good question. How do men flirt?"

"They climb up in trees," Éiden shouted. "And poop!"
janradder: (Default)
Arie and Éiden are engaged in an epic light saber battle in the living room.

Arie: I killed you!

Éiden: No! Say, "Ha-ha-ha!" like a bad guy first.

Arie: Ha-ha-ha! I killed you! Ha-ha-ha!

Éiden: Okay -- now it's my turn to kill you . . . Ahh -- I killed you!

Arie: Urgghhhhhh . . .

Éiden: Now let me help you die!

At DInner

Jun. 6th, 2009 06:35 pm
janradder: (Default)
Haddayr was explaining to Arie how, years ago, it was perfectly legal for companies to fire women who got pregnant or who took too much leave after having their children.

Arie's eyes grew wide.

"That's like being a regular shithead," he said.
janradder: (Default)
"My brother can blow up the house, but he may not blow it up.
janradder: (dork)
The coffee shop was playing a greatest hits album by the Police and when "King of Pain" came on, I suddenly remembered what we used to sing instead of "There's a little black spot on the sun today": "There's a little brown spot on my underwear . . . It's the same old stain as yesterday."

Bacon Jay

Apr. 24th, 2009 10:46 pm
janradder: (yaz)
Is what Éiden called the Red Sox left fielder, Jason Bay, tonight. Immediately after he did, Bay hit a single and then later in the night, followed it up with a double and, more importantly, a ninth-inning, two-out, two-run, game-tying home run off the Yankee's Mariano Rivera (the Sox went on to win in the eleventh inning).

Consequently, from this day forth, Jason Bay will only be known as Bacon Jay in this house.
janradder: (Default)
Okay -- this is kind of fun, hilarious and sick.

Is it wrong of me to laugh when teh kittehs die wid a littel mew?
janradder: (psychos in love)
A couple weeks ago, when Éiden switched from calling me man to "babes," I thought it was him practicing for a career in Hollywood. Today, though, he switched to yet another name which could just mean that he's covering his bases for any possible entertainment career he might get later in life. Or, it could mean that he plans on becoming a sideshow carny. His new name for me? Jo-Jo.

If he suddenly starts chanting, "One of us! One of us! We accept you, one of us!" then I'm going to start getting a little worried.
janradder: (Default)
1. Éiden has been calling me "man" for the past two weeks, as in "Hey, man," "Okay, man," and "What's up, man?" Tonight he started calling me "babes."

2. This afternoon, after lunch, the boys forgot to ask for dessert and didn't remember until this evening. When I told them I wasn't going to give them dessert (we have a "no sweets before bed" policy to help them get to sleep), Arie, in outrage, said, "If you don't give us dessert, I'm going to write your name down saying that you took dessert away from us!" "Go ahead," said. So after reading them their stories, I found this note stuck to our door underneath a flashing light, in case anyone might not notice it otherwise: "Daddy -- unacceptable" and underneath that, he drew a triangle with an exclamation mark in the center, like an error message on a computer. Under that triangle, he wrote, "see back." On the other side, it said, "you took away dessert!"
janradder: (Default)
(said loudly in the checkout line at Aldi)

"We have cookies in our butts!!!!!!"
janradder: (Default)
Via a Facebook meme:

Nicknames: Poopsie Buns-buns, Killer, Snot-nose, Booger-butt -- I could go on but I'd just be bragging.

Do you drink: All the time. If I didn't I'd become severely dehydrated.

Shampoo or conditioner: I don't know -- I can't see the bottle you're holding.

Have you ever gone skinny dipping: No -- I've never been skinny.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime?: Only the crime of loving you too damn much.

Do drugs?: Do drugs what? Work? Sometimes, I guess.

One pillow or two?: Yeah, wouldn't you like to know.

Favorite Type of Music: That music that they used to play in the Irish Spring commercial. It's very Irish.

Words or phrases you overuse: The, a, and, of, in, antidisestablishmentarianism.

Piercing or tattoos: Yes.

Favorite town to chill in: Barneo, on the Arctic Ice Sheet. It's quite chilly there.

Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures? I would never take pictures without asking because that would be stealing.

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: Morning Breeze.

Favorite Song at the moment: ? "Bring out the Hellmann's"

Loudest person you know: The crazy naked man who's yelling outside on the street. Oh, wait, that would be me.

Craziest person or silliest you know: I'd say the same but there's another guy out here who puts me to shame.

Favorite Holiday: Poultry Day on March 19th.

Sunrise or sunset? why?: Well, in the morning it's a sunrise and in the evening it's a sunset. Why? Do you expect me to tell you everything? Go look it up yourself if you're so damn interested, Copernicus.

What is your most prominent emotion?: My chin.

When was the last time you laughed for no reason?: I always laugh for no reason. In fact, I'm doing it right now.

How do you feel about your body?: With my hands.

How far would you go for a friend?: It depends on how far away the friend was and whether he or she owed me money, I guess.

What is your motto in life? Reverberate rhythmically.
janradder: (Default)
Overheard from the back seat as I drove the boys home from swimming lessons.

Éiden: What if you pooped in your buttt?!

Arie: That's ridiculous, Éiden. You can't poop in your butt. In fact, poop comes out of your butt. Only someone else could poop in your butt!

Arie and Éiden: Bwah-hah-hah-haaaaaah!!!!

From there, they moved on to the question of, "What if Godzilla pooped all over your house?". My kids? They only tackle the deep stuff. Deep, as in doodoo, that is.


janradder: (Default)

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