Feb. 22nd, 2011

janradder: (Default)
Lately, Haddayr and I have been remarking on how big √Čiden is getting -- how he doesn't really look like the little boy we know anymore. There's times when you can almost see the teenager-to-be peeking out through his curls, and his body seems to grow longer and take up more space. It's fun to see, and imagine the man he'll become, and delight in how much older he's getting.

At the same time, there's days like today. I sat next to him on the couch as he watched Scooby Doo because he was home sick from school with a fever. He seemed so small next to me, so tiny. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he looked up with me and there was no sign of that teenager-to-be. Instead, it was my little boy that I saw peeking out, who used to watch his big brother go off to school each day and follow me around the house. He seemed delicate, almost like I had to be careful with him so I wouldn't accidentally break him, and he took up so little of the couch that he sat on. Honestly, it was a nice feeling to sit beside him and remember that he isn't all grown yet, and that sometimes he still is my little boy. So I sat with him, after making him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and just enjoyed that feeling for a little while, drinking in all its deliciousness for as long as I could.

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janradder

March 2012

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