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Lately, Haddayr and I have been remarking on how big √Čiden is getting -- how he doesn't really look like the little boy we know anymore. There's times when you can almost see the teenager-to-be peeking out through his curls, and his body seems to grow longer and take up more space. It's fun to see, and imagine the man he'll become, and delight in how much older he's getting.

At the same time, there's days like today. I sat next to him on the couch as he watched Scooby Doo because he was home sick from school with a fever. He seemed so small next to me, so tiny. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he looked up with me and there was no sign of that teenager-to-be. Instead, it was my little boy that I saw peeking out, who used to watch his big brother go off to school each day and follow me around the house. He seemed delicate, almost like I had to be careful with him so I wouldn't accidentally break him, and he took up so little of the couch that he sat on. Honestly, it was a nice feeling to sit beside him and remember that he isn't all grown yet, and that sometimes he still is my little boy. So I sat with him, after making him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and just enjoyed that feeling for a little while, drinking in all its deliciousness for as long as I could.

Date: 2011-02-23 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
I miss those moments with Brandon. I know exactly what you mean. I hope he is feeling better tomorrow.

Date: 2011-02-24 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janradder.livejournal.com
Thanks. It turned out that he had an ear infection (along with the last dregs of the flu), so he's feeling tons better now that he's on antibiotics.

Date: 2011-02-24 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
That's good news.

Date: 2011-02-23 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haddayr.livejournal.com
oh, wow.

Date: 2011-02-24 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janradder.livejournal.com
It was quite a moment.

Date: 2011-02-23 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joelarnold.livejournal.com
Okay, I'll admit to becoming a weepy middle-aged man. That made me tear up a little...

Date: 2011-02-24 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janradder.livejournal.com
Honestly, I started to cry writing it. But then, I cry all the time at just about anything.

Date: 2011-02-23 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smeehrrr.livejournal.com
Livejournal needs a like button.

Date: 2011-02-24 07:00 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-24 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geniusofevil.livejournal.com
awww!

I love/hate that they grow up.

Date: 2011-02-24 09:14 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-24 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stephanieburgis.livejournal.com
OH, yeah. This entry really resonated for me. Beautiful.

Date: 2011-02-25 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janradder.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-02-25 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] st-writes.livejournal.com
You made me cry...

Date: 2011-02-25 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janradder.livejournal.com
I made myself cry too.

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